So you say you don’t have enough time to work out. You say there just isn’t enough time in the day. You say we have a limited time on this earth – why spend it breathing hard and sweating? Well you’re right about not having enough time. In fact, you probably have a lot less time than you think. The longer you keep going without getting daily exercise or stuffing your face with the Standard American Diet (SAD), the sooner you’re going to be taking that big dirt nap. Now that we’ve gotten this out of the way, let’s break down the bullshit you’ve been telling yourself.
Since I don’t know you personally I’m going to have to generalize a bit. If the fact that I haven’t written this post to exactly cater to your specific lifestyle needs is enough to close down your open mind, you can fuck off. Go suck down your Super Big Gulp of Mountain Dew and go to your early grave secure in the knowledge that my brief little article couldn’t tell you how to run your life. Congratulations. You win.
Assuming you work during the day like most of us, you’ve got two options for exercise. Morning or evening. I work out in the evenings now, but when I started I always chose the mornings. Maybe you’re not a morning person. Sorry – this is going to suck, but it will be worth it.
The day before your first workout you are going to get everything that you need for the day ready the night before. Pack your lunch, prep your breakfast. Iron your work clothes and lay them out. Fold your exercise clothes into a neat square and leave it on top of the toilet seat. Now set your alarm clock for 45 minutes earlier than usual. What? Don’t look at me like that. I never said it would be all lollipops and rainbows. Just do it. Walk or jog for 45 minutes. Do a circuit (or multiple circuits) of bodyweight exercises for 45 minutes. Now drink a glass of nice cold water. Now eat breakfast. Now hop in the shower and go about your day. Yes, you will hurt. But your body will soon start producing natural endorphins, and you will feel good too. You might even find yourself grinning. Tomorrow, sleep in. The next day get up early and do it again.
That’s mornings. Evenings are tougher. Don’t work out in the evening to begin with. It is much more difficult – much easier to make excuses and skip a session but if you can manage it, evenings are best for muscle-building exercises. Since muscles grow during rest periods you should do all your muscle routines in the evening. Then eat a good high-protein meal. Shower and go to bed. You will sleep hard and sound.
What’s that? You don’t want to wake up early because you go to bed late? You don’t have time in the evening to exercise? Ok, well I don’t know your life. I don’t know what time you can or can’t make. But you do. And the easiest thing in the world is to lie to yourself. It takes great strength and courage to be brutally honest with the mirror. So log off from Xbox Live, turn off the TV, get off the goddamn couch and throw out that bag of Cheetos. Go look in the mirror. Tell it that you don’t have time to work out.
Go do it now.
Done? Good. Now remember what your face looked like when you said it. That’s what you look like when you make excuses. We all do it. But right now – today – knock it off. You might be fooling everyone else, but you can’t fool The Reaper.